So next I fail my psychology exam. Then after that my server crashes and I have to get it upgraded which costs even more money. My pay is crap, hence why I have to start back at McDonalds, and I have no money to pay my $200 phone bill back. Then today my server crashes again, and I have to upgrade it again. Then I left my uniform at home. Lost my spare key to my car. Got lost whilst riding my bike back to my cousins.

In a nutshell, FML!!!!

It doesn’t make you a whore or a manwhore at that, I’m not saying screw everything that comes your way, what it really means is simply live it up and not over think things, it doesn’t mean you should be reckless either.  Just have fun and fate will deal with the rest.

On other things, I’m doing a 100 icon contest and my subject is the tudors, I won’t upload the icons as I do them, I’ll upload all 1oo when I finish so I’ll let you all know when  add them

But enough about that, I know I need to serious exercise my self control, and I will work on that, promise.   So in other things, well I got accepted onto campus for uni next year, I’m really excited to be moving out of home, I like being independent and as much as I try mum still controls me haha.  And while I love under this roof she has the right to bug the hell out of me.  I love her alot, but it’s getting to a stage where I want to wear what I want and not have her disapprove of it.  She’s a bit of a prude mind you, she doesn’t like anything that’s tight and and it doesn’t necessarily look bad, she just thinks it does.  Mind you I think mum and dad would have me wearing a nuns habit if they could, I am their baby so I guess it is hard to let go.

It’s official I’m obsessed with the Tudors I think I’ve watched season one and two a bagillion times already.  I love Anne Boleyn and 16th century England, so I’ll read anything to do with that era.  But the Tudors is LOVE, and I think Natalie Dormer plays the best Anne Boleyn I have ever seen, she’s just so perfect for the role.  If you haven’t watched the series you just have to, it is seriously spectacular. <3

My computer is dying a slow and painful death, I’m just hoping it’ll hold out until I can get a new one.  It keeps turning itself off which is really annoying, but hey ole Lola has had a good run, so I can’t really complain, she’s been good.

Fantorium is doing fantastically, and google ad revenue is also going great so next months bill won’t be out of pocket which is exactly what I want.

The best part about this blog is that I FINALLY have some graphical updates YAY!!!!  Truthfully speaking I don’t think they are fantastic, I think I’m having a little block at the moment, or I’m just lazy either one haha.

I have three new avatars, two of Kelly Clarkson and the other Anne Boleyn portrayed by Natalie Dormer in the Tudors.

Four new Icons of Kelly Clarkson

And I have Four new Signatures, two of Kelly Clarkson, one of Taylor Swift and one of Anne Boleyn.

And that is all from, until next time

Alot of things have been happening in my life at the moment.  Past hurts have affected me even up to now, but I realise I am tired of hiding the person I am, I want to be able to walk up and meet new people and be myself from day one not later.  You see having a eye problem which is physical since my eyes do not work together and it appears one eye is looking one way and the other eyes is looking another way, people from Primary School to High School teased me and ostracized me for it.  I look back and I really can’t say I was ever truly happy, all I felt was pain.  The real me wasn’t accepted back then so I guess I figured why should I be now.  But the people who always knew me and were my true friends love me for who I am and those others are fools to have not recognised the person I am, so it’s their loss.  One of my friends just pointed out that I had an asshole grade and not everyone was like that.

So I’m trying to not be afraid anymore, and I’m trying to let people in from word go.  But it’s so hard to shake your doubts because I have a pretty bad track record with people.  Almost every person I opened up just a little to backstabbed me later, so it’s hard not to give into that fear but I’m trying to convince myself that not everyone is the same and if I keep closing myself off I might just miss the chance to get to know someone who truly cares about me.

What I find amusing is that all the people I thought hated me never did they kind of just went with the crowd.  I’ve learned people change after high school, it’s all to do with stepping out into the world and having all these responsibilities laid upon you.  So my advice to anyone who had a tough time with people in high school is that people do truly change after high school, so give them the second chance but with that being said don’t ever forget.

Another thing I couldn’t fathom was the amount of people who actually had the hots for me.  What I can’t figure out is if they never showed it in fear of being ostracized or if it was because I deemed myself so inadequate I never noticed.  So I have all this extra attention at the moment, problem is I’m not attracted to them and I have no experience in being tactful in saying ‘I only just want to be friends.’

The person I am interested in says he just wants to be friends but yet there’s all these reactions he has to me that says otherwise.  It’s like he hasn’t quite figured things out yet.  The biggest problem is there is this lady in his life who is a manipulative bitch, she has this control problem and she controls everything and he doesn’t realise it.  His friends are of her approval and she hates me.  So she’s interfered so much even as far as saying I’m not good enough for him.  It’s like she knows he hasn’t worked things out yet, so she’s smothering him to the point that he can’t be independent and work it out.  I can imagine I have been frustrating to him because I put up my wall but I have been letting it down and he’s not giving me a chance to show him who I am and I am convinced it is all her doing.  It’s like he hasn’t grown up.  It feels like nothing will ever come between us even as just friends while we are living here, next year things will be better when he’s out of her grasp.  So unless he has a realisation between now and next year I’ll have to stick this one out.  I’m so frustrated with him at the moment, I’m not hurting, just frustrated because it’s not entirely his fault because this woman is good, so good that when she interferes it just looks like to him that she’s just being nice to him.  She really needs to back the fuck off!!

I’m promising myself now that I need to get into shape again, I have love handles and a stomach and I have such a pretty belly button piercing so I need my flat tummy again.  Usually I have a motivational tool like Touch and Athletics but since I don’t do either now since I’m no longer in school, I’ve lost my goal and doing it just to be healthy isn’t motivating enough.  So I was thinking and I’ve decided to make my goal ‘to be the real me’ so by losing weight I’m boosting my self-confidence and self-esteem so that I’ll be on the road to being the girl who is her 24/7, not the girl who gets scared and puts up her wall.  I’ll be blogging about my progress from now on!

Ever since I opened The Fantorium Network things have been going great.  I have quite a few hostees now and we are climbing google at a fast rate.  I have to say though I’ve had alot of Fan-Sites.org hostees sign up and moving their sites, things aren’t so chipper of there at the moment and from the stories I have been told, I’m so glad I left and started my own site.  So to everyone who’s thinking of hosting a site there choose anything but Fan-Sites, the woman who owns it has turned into a right hypocritical bitch, I’ve had bad dealings with her myself.  Sites should be fun not a contest and certainly not a petty area.

As for Anamarlia, I think I’ll probably blog more than update content, and I’m tempted to just shut things down to a blog and collective, but I worked hard on the stuff I made and you all seemed to enjoy it so I will continue to put up stuff I make, it just won’t be a regular thing.

• You have to be on a subdomain (perhaps even a domain you cannot afford to renew) or show you code all your own site, no website generators etc.
• Your has to be up for awhile or at least show to me that you are firmly committed to your site and will be around for at least a year.
• Be rather talented I only accept the best.

Thats about it, so if you are interested in going for it, then please pop in a application at http://fantorium.com/get-hosted/hosting-application/ and in the last comments box, make sure you type “Domain Competition” so that I know you are a vying for a chance to be considered for your very own domain.

Anyone interested in moving their site to my server then pop in a application also. I’d love to get the ball rolling so if you know anyone who wants to move or start a fansite, collective, forum etc. the tell them about Fantorium!

Seriously people need to grow the hell up!

I might be making a proposition to the new graphic challenge forum that replaced BCF, so I’ll let you know about that soon!

So pretty much out with the old and in with the new I have to say the site needed it.  And as you can see a new layout is up.  One of my biggest obsessions is 50′s vintage I love it so much as you can see!  My fav is burlesque<333.

You may have noticed Illusions Inc Designs on the sidebar navigation, yes I am changing design sites for the last time, this is a domain I bought, I can’t wait for it to open, kudos to Munchie at tempting-illusions.org for hosting me while I get ready for the hosting site.

I know some may not be a fan of ads but since I’m starting the hosting what pays for your hosting is ads, they are colour customizable and there are two others sizes so no biggy, so since Anamarlia will be hosted on my new server I figured I might start putting the ads on now!

On some other news, I got into Uni!  And I’m currently studying Digital Innovation so in about 4 + years I’ll be fully qualified as a Graphic Design.  To label what kind of student I am they call us BDI’s hehe.  I’m doing it externally which is great since I can move anywhere I like.

So leave a comment, welcome me back, comment the layout, show your excitement or interest in the hosting, whatever it may be, I’d love to hear from you all!

I purchased IPB hosting, a license and a domain for a forum dedicated to anything creative. At the moment we are primarily focusing on Creative Writing, Fanfiction and Graphic Design.

I think you all know the drill, join, create, and HAVE FUN!! This forum intends to be a success so no there’s no worries of it being closed in a weeks time, I paid good money for this, and when have I ever disappointed

There’s challenges made by the LCI staff, you can also create your own but you are responsible for it. All winners of the LCI challenges get a link in the hall of fame. There will be some exclusive resources made by the LCI staff coming soon, you can also link or share your own. You can plug your site, show off your work, write stories and update them.

The aim is very simple you LEARN from others, you CREATE your own work and then you share you work with the rest of the forum and thus leading to INSPIRE others with a new creative streak. I like to think of it as the circle of creation.

There’s not much at the moment but that’s because we need YOU to join and tell us what YOU want so we can cater to everybody’s desires. Most importantly GET THE WORD OUT! Tell your friends, post a link on forums, link on your myspaces, facebooks etc etc. Sharing is caring so tell everyone you know!

So JOIN JOIN JOIN, we have cookies

http://learncreateinspire.com/

I’m still working on the site, but I admit I am procrastinating. I know how much work that tutorial section needs and well I also know how much I need to add so I’m just kind of avoiding it. But I will be good tonight I’m going to work on it, so I can finish the darn validation, set up a new section on the site and get on with alot of other things I need to do.

One thing in the future I’m planning on, is to go reseller hosting, my goal is to rise anamarlia from the dead, because I have neglected it and I used to get 40 + comments now I’m only barely managing 1 if I’m lucky. I will blog more, no matter how uninteresting my life is.

And in the near near future I will make a new layout.